“Just ringing to say, I’ve spoken to the police officer, he said he would set up a video link and get something sorted in the library in regards to my police statement. I’ve told them where they need to investigate and who the perpetrators are. I had my session with Trish this morning and told her that I miss my daughter and that…well… this job is pointless and I realised last weekend that there is just no need to be here; I’m only here for the statement. I will be looking for a job around London soon, so I can be closer to Amy. I’ve been speaking with Trish and she said I needed to make it harmonious between us if we were going to be meeting up regularly, so I told her that we are currently skyping, which is going ok and she knows what it’s like being a victim and I said I’d been having anger issues. I assaulted my housemate last week,” he said suddenly, sounding regretful.
“Oh right” I said, sounding monotone.
“Yeah, he had been telling me to do stuff around the house and getting his girlfriend to come in and say stuff to me, so the last time he came in and said, ‘at the end of the day mate’….that was as far as he got…as I had him up against the wall then, with my face right up touching his face,” he said, chuckling. “I was practically licking it. I molested him too,” he laughed again as he explained what he had done. “I grabbed at his manboob and told him, ‘get a bra on, don’t walk around here without any clothes on it’s disgusting” he said, still continuing to find humour in the situation.
“Ha, I even called him, ‘Mr titty tit’, he was shit scared and went off telling his girlfriend that I had headbutted him. I went to the rental place and told them the story. I told them that if he comes in saying I’ve headbutted him, he would have to prove it with bruises and bleeding but there isn’t any so it’s just bullshit! The rental people believed me and agreed with what I had done. Trish also understood why I had reacted like that. He was being a bully, so I stood up to him in the manly way. Ha! He’s shit scared of me now, waits for me to pass in the hall. Yeah!…Respect! He fucking respects me now!” he said, proudly, I could sense him smiling down the phone.
“And you think this behaviour is ok?” I asked, feeling the anger burning within me.
“Oh I just knew this is how you’d respond, I just can’t speak to you about anything can I? I’m just trying to tell you how I dealt with someone who was being a bully and instead of being like…oh yes, well done Martin that’s great…especially the fact that you should feel safe in the knowledge I would always be able to stand up for my daughter…no not you, you have to be like this, it’s that tone you use, why do you speak to me like that?” Angry that I had questioned him, I tried, somewhat unconvincingly, to deflate his rising irritation.
“I thought you were going to tell me how you had regretted being angry, your tone suggested that your were ashamed you had reacted like this and that’s why you had been talking with your therapist about it” I said, wondering if I had heard the initial guilty tone wrong.
“No Sophie!…I’m telling you how…..oh it doesn’t matter, I can’t talk to you, you don’t understand. I can never talk to you. I just rang because I thought I could tell you, I was trying to make things harmonious between us but obviously this isn’t going to happen as you just react like this.“
“What did he say to you to make you retaliate like this?” I asked.
“Oh it doesesn’t matter, I can’t talk to you, have you listened to the way you speak to me?” he said, angrily.
“I can’t listen to you Martin and you can’t talk to me, so that makes two of us, so we should just stop. It’s making me angry, I have feelings too.”
“Oh what are you talking about now? I’m just trying to tell you here that I stood up to him in a manly way and that I won’t be talked to like that…..Trish understood and so did the woman from the rental place, they understood why I reacted like that, there’s a bigger story going on, it’s been going on awhile….you don’t understand” he said.
“No you’re right I don’t, I’m not the person you need to talk to about this, why are you telling me all this now, and after saying you were coming down to live closer to your daughter, do you think I want you to be around us if you are treating people this way?” I said, the anger scorching the back of my throat.
“Oh I just can’t talk to you, you don’t listen, I’ve never been able to talk to you, why am I even talking to you?” He said, repeating his same mantra.
“I don’t know, why are you? I don’t want to listen,” I said, finally.
“…Right! Goodbye then Sophie!” he said, hanging up the phone.